I’ve been away for a while, as you might know already. I honestly needed some time off. I share so much of myself with the world, that from time to time, I need to pause. Away from the blog I had the time to invest more energy into other creative tasks and focus on teaching. My daily ashtanga kept going and transitioned into a very beautiful stage. More acceptance, more flowing, sometimes no flowing (but accepting and letting myself be humbled by the experience). It is truly incredible how much we don’t know about ourselves. My self-analysis has also entered into another chapter: less overthinking and more acceptance for the unknown. More bravery. Less fear (or just learning how to work so that fear becomes a positive element for growth).
Something shifted inside of me. Some parts of myself start to breathe and come alive. I am putting into action lots of stuff that were in my mind. Together we are making the world a better place. I let go of more and more unnecessary things, thoughts, people that bring the worst out of me. And keep walking my path. I meet incredible people that inspire me and we support each other on this path of life. I believe in my path more than ever. It has meaning!! People are growing 🙂 That’s how I imagined it to be. Unfold Your Mat is a place with a soul. I feel truly happy!
Our classes have changed a lot in these last two months. We went from free yoga flows to dedicating ourselves to a single method, the ashtanga yoga method. It is my daily meditation, main source of inspiration for all the things I do in my life. It is my rock, the one that gives me strength to do all the things I do. It is the tool that connects me with myself and helps me see right from wrong. The most powerful transformation tool I’ve ever tried. So it only seemed like a natural progression to finally start sharing my love and passion for it.
The day has come.
Gathering the lessons. The tools. The methods. Techniques.
Learning how to put my own mental and physical struggles to be of use for other people who walk a similar path. The path of self-discovery. Learning how to believe that anything that seems impossible has the ability to become possible.
Lots of emotions. Fear. Excitement. Happiness. Doubts.
It’s normal to be that way.
We are humans.
We have all sorts of emotions.
So I allowed them to just be and stepped into the first class of 2018.
Closed the eyes. Called everyone to Samastitihi. All mind chatter has stopped. And we started to unite breath and movement. All of a sudden we found ourselves in Savasana. Another magical moment in this complicated world.
It feels right. So right!
I feel I can put all my authentic self into these classes. And to see so much progress into my students after only 2 months, it’s incredible. That’s the magic of the method. That’s why I believe in it. I practice and I share it. I think everyone should experience its magic. It is truly amazing!
Someone told me recently my style of teaching changed. I take that as a compliment. It should better be this way. I have no willingness to teach the same classes I taught in 2015. By learning more about myself, I am also learning more about how to share. So first of all be a student. And be mindful who is your teacher. Walk the path of honesty.
By focusing less on the asana, the asanas began flowing differently and I am catching glimpses of real awareness. My heart is opening more and more. I am learning to let go and be brave every day more.
In the silence of the Mysore room, being humbled and awakened by this practice. Each day on the mat is a mystery and an opportunity to learn something new about ourselves.
I was afraid of this change. So afraid! Afraid they might not like it. Afraid they might not understand what I’m trying to share. Afraid I might end up teaching an empty room. But the practice is always the best teacher. It has its own intelligence to wakes us up and touch our hearts. It has its own way to plant the seeds of transformation into our minds and slowly reveal the brave souls we’ve always been deep inside. Along the way some people will leave. And those that are willing to meet themselves and recognize life is tough, but there is something truly empowering into embracing challenges, they will stay and they will grow. That’s for sure! I have no doubts.
This practice is no fun most times. It is hard work. Dedication. Willingness to do better in your life. It brings you on your feet every time you lose your ground. It kicks you when you lose faith in yourself. It shows you how much harm you create when you judge yourself or the world. It brings you in pain when you are arrogant and too full of yourself.
But it also makes you see clearly. It builds a stronger you every day. It opens your heart. Even if you have a strong resistance, the practice will always be stronger that your mental resistance. The practice will support you, hold you in its arms, give the possibility to be just that – Yourself. No bullshit, no masks, no fake stuff, no victimhood, no arrogance. It is something incredibly liberating into presenting your authentic self to the world. Then you can be of use and not waste these precious days that were given to you.
Thank you to each and everyone of my students! Your ability to be so open and trust me on this path has deeply touched my heart. I was afraid to do so big changes, but you showed me once again there is no reason to be afraid when you do it with your heart and you know it is right. I feel very proud of you growing into such beautiful people. I feel happy I can share with you my passion and transform everything that was once born out of pain into love and compassion. Thank you for listening, for being here, for choosing to spend your time with us!
I wish you to be strong enough to discover your true authentic self. And never give up! Never! 🙂 Follow your dreams!
*Big thanks to Costel, Emilie, Kathrin & Georg for supporting me and giving me courage! Love you guys!
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© Unfold Your Mat 2018
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