For quite some time, I’ve been reflecting on starting a daily Ashtanga practice and 2 weeks ago it became possible. I truly start to believe that when we are ready for something, it will show up. For the last year and a half I’ve been working on getting better at practicing yoga in the early morning. I started slowly and build up progressively.
Now, I can really say that nothing compares to be on your mat at that hour when some are still sleeping or just getting out of bed. Your mind is more quiet and your being more at peace.
Since last Monday I only had one free day from practice. Tomorrow will be the second one which I have a feeling I will truly enjoy 🙂
This morning was special. Not my best shape and super energetic, but I felt something is changing inside me.
I felt weak, sleepy (It was really hard to wake up today!) and even a bit dizzy when coming up from some forward bending asanas. Had to take some extra breaths here and there. Took some small breaks too between Sun Salutations which took longer than usual.
The practice starts to flow. It becomes more meditative. I stopped checking where my feet and arms are and just flow from one asana to another. It becomes an active meditation which is what is supposed to be, not a physical exercise. Despite feeling somehow weak, my body felt quite strong. I don’t really know how to explain it. I feel my shoulders have more stability and strength, balance is improving in the ugly Uttitha Hasta Padangustasana. I even had a dream about this asana in which I was talking to Petri Räisänen and telling him I don’t understand what happened to this posture that it’s getting more difficult for me than it used to be before. What the hell?! Strange dream! haha
This morning I just let go and tried not to think about it anymore and just do the posture. No over analyzing! It worked better,of course.
Mentally and emotionally I feel something is changing or transforming…can’t really put my finger on it. Last week I felt euphoric and with lots of energy. This week I felt quite emotional. I need hugs and kisses and just be cuddled.
During the practice I feel my breathing gets better and better. One and a half years ago I would finish the Primary Series in 1h30 min. I used to be Miss Speed. Now I need 2h15min or 2h20min to really follow my own rhythm. It feels nice! It feels good to be slower.
From a physical perspective, all the forward bending asanas feel effortless and very calming. On the other hand, backbending is getting more difficult since I’ve done mostly forward bending postures these last 2 weeks.
Drop backs are scary, so scary! But my dear heart is slowly opening, trusting more and learn to let go. “Why fearing?”, he said 🙂
Savasana was nice. I fell asleep ( Don’t do what I did! No, Savasana is not to fall asleep ahaha) and even had a dream, which really shows me I need to sleep more. It is probably a result of the practice. The whole week, I was in need of more than usual sleep and I was even craving sweet stuff. So I decided to bake some muffins with lots of cacao! It’s been ages since I last used the oven ahaha
Now this is my mood for today:
I am grateful for everything I learned and keep on learning! Thank you to all of you that made me become the person I am now!
Now let’s do some computer work and prepare the class for tonight. I am teaching a semi-private class to a group of lovely students.
Keep practicing! “All is coming.” 🙂
© Unfold Your Mat 2016