We are born alone and we will die alone. This is a fact and OMG, Claudia was so wise when she first said it.
There are different stages in our life and different people that come, teach us a lesson and then they leave. It took me a while to accept it and try not to force things when there is nothing else left. This is how it is. We walk this path in life to learn something and along this path we will get many lessons. At a certain point, you and I are going to choose different paths and that is fine. It is how it’s supposed to be.
I used to be a lonely and shy child who felt like a weirdo for a long time of her childhood years. For a long time, I thought there is something wrong with me and I was trying to force myself to be cool, socialize and make myself pleased by others. That teenager is no longer with us. This woman now understands that she does not have to be pleased by everyone. It is normal. This woman knows now that there are few people that are trying to understand without judging. There are few people that do not only think about themselves and love without expecting something in return.
2010 I moved to Krakow, Poland.
It was the time when my life was turning around so many people. So many, that I didn’t have time for my best friend: ME. I was always running from one meeting to another. Always busy, always with people. Never having time for myself.
Slowly my friendship list started to get shorter and shorter. I understood that those people that send you a text with “See you when you get better” are not worth my time. We have so little time. Why should I waist it having unnecessary discussions?
However some people do not come into our life and then go. They stay there no matter what.
Many times I preferred to spend my evenings after work, having a silly girls fight with Claudia who was living with me at the time, cooking together, baking the only cake I knew how to bake, laughing until tears were falling on our cheeks and we had belly ache, letting Romanian sarcasm manifest itself at its finest, talking about life, dreams and sharing our thoughts with an open heart without fear.
She has given me the biggest lesson on friendship I’ve ever got! With her harsh sincerity and good heart, she has managed to make me open my heart and trust without questioning that she is teaching me something good even when she’s being mean. At that time she was 29 and wise, I was 25 and living on a cloud in my fantasy world where everything and everyone was good.
After moving to Gothenburg, it took a while to understand that my husband is not Claudia and most importantly he is NOT a girl haha I missed her and still miss her so deeply! I searched for her in many people even though I knew that our friendship cannot be multiplied. It is unique and it still survives despite the distance that separates us because what unites us is not measured in meetings and coffee breaks, but it’s deeper than that.
However I wish I could see her more often and just be us, the same two girls that laugh until they get a belly ache.
I wish to communicate more and socialize less. In those “socializing” moments I miss her even more.
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