Hi there!

Today I thought about putting in to words a few reminders that all of us need from time to time. We chase happiness in external sources most of the time, but deep in our heart we know real happiness always comes from inside. Just by changing our daily habits and letting go of thoughts and actions that do not serve us,we can bring so much positive transformation in our life.

The reason why most people do not do it is because it’s so hard to change your habits. They “became” part of who we are. It is hard to stop gossiping if you’ve been doing that for years without ever questioning why. It is hard to expect less when you chase only the good feelings every time you have a new experience. It is hard not to judge if you’ve been judging yourself and others for years and maybe you don’t even know it. It is hard to know what is the truth as long as you see life only through your own lenses. It is hard to know yourself if you don’t make time for meditation and reflection. If you do not discipline your mind. It is hard to ever feel happy and fulfilled as long as you search external approval and pleasing others instead of putting the work for you to become a better person without having to impress anyone. It is also hard to ever feel happy as long as you do not practice being a good person and just use others for your mean purpose.

Hard doesn’t mean impossible! It is never too late to start the journey towards the center of yourself.

Below are a few guidelines that I try to practice in my life. I don’t always succeeded, but hey! it’s a practice and I’m just a regular human, not a perfect one. The best practice is doing what you can. But really make sure you do what you can and not limit yourself and find excuses. The mind is a tricky thing. Always finding new ways to confuse us and trick us.

I wish you to be strong enough to find your true self! 🙂 

  1. Mind your own business – This is probably the most neglected and the one where it all starts (if applied). Stop those thoughts! Stop the judgement! Stop the gossip! By doing this you are becoming stronger without realizing it right now. You are not without any fault. It is not your business what others choose to do with their life. What others do with their life is none of your business. Try to help if you can, but don’t impose your way of seeing things or what you do on others. Inspiration comes by changing yourself. But you cannot save someone who doesn’t want to save himself. You cannot do the work in their place.
  2. Strength is a skill to be practiced your whole life. Just because you have big muscles that could easily impress some doesn’t mean you are strong. Strength refers to your ability to rise above your ordinary thinking mind. To be able to see yourself and the world just the way it is. To be able to control your mind. To stay focused. Determined. To believe in your dreams. Do not give up. Strength is compassion. Strength is kindness.
  3. Perception is not reality. (Thank you Oana for making me dig more into this one!) We are all very much influenced by our perception. But perception is a very tricky one. Your way of seeing things is not the one and only. Your perception could actually stay in your way sometimes more than you think. Listen to what other people have to share and say. Reflect. Be patient before you put a label on something or someone. Don’t judge. Choose carefully.
  4. Stop judging the one who judges you. – I am really bad at this one. I really am! But this doesn’t mean I cannot practice getting better at it. We cannot change people. We can only change ourselves. And really things feel way better when we finally let of of the expectations we create about others and try to find them excuses or make them better.
  5. “Be the change that you want to see in the world.” Gandhi – Lead by example. Anyone can share theoretical pieces of wisdom, but what you practice and do is eventually what matters most.
  6. Expectations kill us all. Train your mind to expect less and enjoy more. Embrace experiences as they are and let them teach you the lesson. By letting go of your expectations and aversions towards dislikes life will feel better.
  7.  You get what you give. – There is an universal law about how we really get what we put into this world. Some call it karma. Based on my experience we tend to attract what we think and/or believe and/or do. A really good example: until I didn’t stop being so angry and judgmental about people stepping on my feet, kicking with their elbows or backpacks (I’m a small person so it can get really annoying sometimes…) in public transportation or while walking on the street, caring so little about what’s around them… I kept attracting this kind of people. When I finally let go of it, somehow the path became a little clearer 🙂
  8. Make peace with the past. Make peace with your family. You cannot move forward by blaming others for what they did or said. Be a better person yourself.
  9. If you got more awareness and see things others don’t see yet, put it back into this world and multiply those benefits. This is how we make the world a better place. This is how change starts. By action not by complaining and preaching something we don’t do it ourselves.
  10. Stop being so selfish. You cannot be happy only by trying to turn the whole universe around your big ego. Take a trip that opens your eyes a little more, look with curiosity and openness at your everyday life,  do something good for someone who really needs it. Make time for what really matters. And be grateful for your life. It’s a gift. Don’t waste it.

From my heart to yours,

Lavinia


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